As a little girl I always dreamed of getting married. I performed countless weddings for Ken and Barbie; Shera and He-Man; Smurfette and whatever Smurf I chose for her….. you get the picture. I rejoiced for several people as they got married to their mates.
After a while at the age of 25, I had a thought, wait Lord…. I am 25 years old now. When will it be my turn? Have you forgotten about me? I didn’t get a response from my God so I decided to do it on my own. I decided to seek out a relationship that I wanted so badly. When I prayed and asked God if he was the one? I heard “No!”
This “No!” was not a no of rejection but one of protection. But I began to beg God to make this relationship work. Please Daddy God. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. Well since our loving Father gives us the desires of our hearts the relationship I chose to pursue out of His will transpired.
I suffered many loses in this relationship. My relationship with God, church family, friends, family members, an unborn child and ultimately myself. My life became consumed with pleasing him and him only. My happiness was based upon making him happy. As long as he was happy, that is all that mattered.
One day he asked me Lezlie K we always do what I want to do…. what do you want to do? I busted out crying because that was when I realized I no longer knew who I was and I was too far from God. I was having a real life identity crisis.
Ultimately some time later, this relationship ended and the journey of rediscovery began. I graduated from college. Got back into church and began to allow God to show me who I was in Him and why He told me no to the relationship, in the first place.
I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU!
Has this ever happened to any of you awesome readers? Have you lost individuality or yourself in a relationship?
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