It’s Not Him, It’s You

Have you ever heard the saying,

“Don’t point your finger because when you do there are three pointing back at you.”

Well I have. I actually heard that saying my whole life while growing up. But I did not come into the true understanding of what that meant until I married my husband.

Prior to getting married, in my mind I had the perfect vision of marriage. How he was going to act, look, and smell. How he was going to be an amazing cook and make so much money. How we were going to raise our amazing sons. ….. you guys get the picture. What type of house we were going to live in. The car he was going to drive me around in. Yep….. Well I am still waiting for my mind’s perfect picture to manifest because our marriage has been everything but perfect.

Issues. Issues. Issues. All I could see, were the issues. He’s not (fill in the blank). He won’t (fill in the blank). If he would just (fill in the blank). Say the word Issue 3 times slowly. Did you hear the words

It’s You?

I had to come to realization that it wasn’t my husband …… Lezlie, IT’S YOU! I was putting too many unrealistic expectations on him. I was the one afraid to confront what was really going on with me prior to marrying him. I was the one who was failing to see the gift that he was, due to the preconceived notion of him not fitting the mold of my mind’s perfect mate. I was the one, who was not finding reasons or ways to elevate and celebrate him. My husband was not receiving the respect that he deserved.

So many times it is easier to blame others because we can spotlight their flaws. But what happens when that spotlight is turned on you. How will you address being the one who has these blaring imperfections? How will you handle it? This realization did not come easy for me but I am so thankful to God that it did happen. It is a work in progress for me.

It starts with I’m sorry. For every finger that I pointed at him, there were three things about me that I needed to address. So, now I am working on allowing God to perfect those things that concerns me. Hubby is not perfect. Neither am I. But we are perfect for each other.


How would you address being the one who has these blaring imperfections? How would you handle it?

Please respond in the comment field below.

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